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21 October 2020

Kisah Gelang Putih (Covid-19)

 


Few weeks ago I wish I have break time from all this nonsense and guess what?

I get the break time
 On leave since 24.09.2020-20.10.2020

Got to spend time with my daughter and my family.
I don't even think bout the unpaid leave, not getting enough salary,
Just my family

But
also during this break time making me reconsider bout relationship
I want to move on

I want to be with both my babies
I hope i can before this year end

17 July 2018

Kisah Buruk Siku

Hai

Last week aku balik kampung jumpa parents, masa balik kampung tu umi ada hint dia nak gelang emas dia yang ada dengan aku sebab dia nak pakai untuk perhiasan hari2. Tapi memandangkan gelang emas aku yang umi aku bagi pinjam kazen aku dia belum bagi balik, so ayah aku x bagi umi aku ambil gelang dia.. So bermula kisahnya d meja makan untuk pujuk ayah aku;

Umi: Boleh ka sy ambil gelang dengan along balik? (Sambil kenyit2 mata dengan aku)
Aku: Senyum2 sambil cakap umi ambil la tu boleh pakai nanti
Ayah: Buat2 tak dengar umi tanya dia.. krikk...krikkk..krikkk
Umi: Darling, dengar ka? saya ambil la dulu, nanti ada gelang nya di bagi balik dengan along.
Ayah: Pandang umi kejap lepas tu cakap "Buruk Siku"
Aku: Gelak tak hengat dunia... Hahahaha..

Sekian

13 October 2016

Rumble and Mumble


You asked me what i would do if u were 25 minutes late (just like the song u meant)
I asked you back, is it intended or unintended? coz if u are late unintended, i just might not bother
(^_^)

"Why do we need to hurt each other if damn in love with each other"... Well, its not a good sign if I start using this quote AGAIN..

Thing i hate the most is when people i love start to make me feel hurt. Leave them? Nope... I'll just give them few chance until my "LOVE" for them faded and gone with the wind.. Impossible??? Nah.. its possible for me..

I've gone with this kind of situation before, and trust me that didn't ending well for them. But for me, i'm glad I end it though... (Evil Me Rite)

I start to miss my previous lifestyle, hangout with my girlzzz... Vacation... Holiday and such on..

Love,

This is 1 on many secret you didn't know about me, I used this to tell you how i feel about us. I realize you love me very much, but are you really? coz i start to doubt that. Why? Its for me to know and you to find out...

I don't like being told what I can/should wear, in fact I hate it and despise the most. You NEVER tell me anything about my fashion/cloth.

Beside, I hate it when you start quiry about my family. I'm a family based person, means i will ask opinion from my parent, sibling, cousin and other relatives. So, don't you dare to tell me I can't spend time with my family. Damn, I will do anything I want with my family. Even I do realize if we were to get married you will be part of my family, but still family come first. Yeah, I stubborn enough to defy you *smirk.

A good husband will be a man for his wife during her hard time.

Image result for be a man to wife 

28 July 2016

Rezeki tu Ada



Alhamdulillah, semalam dapat berita gembira dari mamy. Moga rezeki bertambah lagi lepas ni..

Komitmen bertambah lagi untuk tahun ni... Err.. bukan tambah anggota keluarga, tambah hutang....Selepas berjaya melangsaikan tunggakan PTPTN guna KWSP akhirnya bertambah sejibik kereta d rumah, tu nama nya rezeki.. Alhamdulillah

Bila check balik usia macam da meningkat, sampai bila nak fikir masa senang. Mula la kena buat persediaan di masa kemudian

Saving kena mantap tu, tak semestinya perempuan tak boleh buat saving sendiri.

Jangan kejar lelaki kaya, berusaha untuk jadi kaya....

Dan tiba2 aku terfikir____ Sangat tak suka bila orang pergunakan aku.. =.="
Memang ready la aku mengelak dari makhluk pisau cukur tu..

Haha..
Kbai



13 July 2016

Selamat Hari Raya!!!


Hai.. Err, jap check kalendar..
Happy 8th Syawal atau pun senang cakap Selamat Hari Raya!!!

Raya tahun ni Alhamdulillah agak blast dari tahun lalu dan  Raya tahun ni cuti full seminggu, bersyukur la ada Public yang boleh replace (maksud?)

Tahun ni, orang yang d tunggu xda pla datang beraya, tapi rumah memang ramai tetamu. 4 Hari berturut jadi macam open house.

Tahun ni pun dapat duit raya juga, tapi RM 10 la.. haha.. lagi banyak pengeluaran banding kemasukan.

Gambar raya selamat d post dalam FB dan Insta..

20 June 2016

Memory Lane~~~



Gemonink...

Memory Lane
Imbas semula Ramadhan tahun 2015, seminggu sebelum ramadhan tu aku cuti. Alkisahnya, ada 1 hamba Allah ni yang sampai sekarang ni belum minta maaf lagi pasal semua perkara yang dia tipu aku. Rasa nya dia memang tak ada rasa bersalah bila buat salah (T.T) . Perkara yang dia tipu antaranya tarikh dia masuk training dan alasan kenapa dia tiba2 hilang. Orang yang suka menipu, one fine day dia sendiri akan terlepas cakap dengan kau pasal hal2 yang dia pernah tipu tu depan muka kau. Dahsyat tu bila orang tu berjaya men'kantoi'kn diri nya sendiri... Dendam? Nope, aku marah orang tak lama. Kejap jea lepas tu aku lupa juga pn, malas nak fikir lama2, bazir masa dan tenaga.

Lagi ke memory lane, Mr.S kata dia kalau boleh nak pilih orang Sabah dan orang dekat2, susah katanya kalau orang jauh. Genap setahun dia kata benda tu, akhirnya dia khawin juga dengan orang seberang. Ha Ha, so much for nak pilih kawen dengan orang tempatan. Tapi bukan nak salahkan dia, tapi itu namanya jodoh cuma rasa 'hilang ayat' sebab kalau dengar ayat2 yang dia cakap 1 tahun yang lalu fuhh boleh brainwash tu.. Anyway Congratz bro and thanks untuk sesuatu yang kau pernah ajar aku dahulu, sebab ada masa aku tengah down dan sebab kau bagi aku peluang untuk jadi diri aku sendiri.

To Be Continue~~~

13 April 2016

Hook and Emma - It is what it is



No, don't cry.. Don't and never repeat the same mistake again.

She is her daddy princess, treat her like one.

Life is sure cruel, but suck it up babe. You and only you alone can help yourself through the challenge, others just will enjoy watching you struggle.

You want something, try harder to get it. Dreaming won't change anything, trying at least will make you feel satisfy and no regret
(Do what you wanna do, then after that no regret coming)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4 April 2016

Past and Memories



Gediks much pilih lagu ni~~~

Last update Jan 2016, cepatnya masa berlalu. Rasa macam baru semalam hidup aku tunggang langgang. Bila di fikir semula aku rasa malu dengan apa yang aku pernah buat sebelum ni. 2015 terlalu banyak kisah sedih dan kurang elok, bukti nya tengok la pada kenaikan gaji dan bonus aku. Kenapa tengok 2 benda tu, sebab dari situ boleh tahu macam mana teruknya prestasi kerja aku.. (kan da kata aku malu), Orang2 yang ada dekat dengan aku tahu macam mna rupa aku masa tu. Masa sarapan tadi, kawan aku kata dia tengok aku teruk sangat masa2 tu, yea la asyik nangis jea.. sikit2 pun nak nangis, serabut la siap tak ada selera makan lagi.... cia cia cia (trend gelak skrg)... Buruk beno perangai nya.

Kalau nak di ceritakan kisah tu, mungkin aku perlukan 2 atau 3 hari untuk habis taip. Almaklum la, kisah yang agak panjang sampai boleh dapat best novel award...

Tapi pa pa pun aku bersyukur untuk setiap perkara baik dan kurang baik tu (ayat positif tak boleh blah). Ada hikmah di sebalik semua tu dan terumata sekali pengalaman menjadikan seseorang tu lebih dewasa (sila muntah darah kalau baca)

Okay cukup, March Monthly Report belum siap..

Kbai~~~

7 January 2016

Nightcore - Can We Start Again


And I remember everything,
Everything I loved,
I gave it away like it wasn't enough
All the words I said and all you forgive
How could I hurt you again?

What if I let you in?
What if I make it right it?
What if I give it up?
What if I want to try?
What if you take a chance?
What if I learn to love?
What if, what if we start again?

[Chorus]
All this time
I can make it right
With one more try
Can we start again?
In my eyes,
You can see it now,
Can we start again, can we start again?!?

Emptiness inside me, wonder if you see
It's my mistake and it's hurting me
I known where we've been
How did we get so far?
What if, what if we start again?

[Chorus]

I'm lost inside the pain I feel without you,
I can't stop holding on, I need you with me!!!
I'm trapped inside the pain
Can we ever start again?
I'm lost without you!!!

One more try,
Can we start again?
In my eyes, can you forgive me now?
(Can we start again?)
Can we start again (one more try?)
Can we start again?
Can we start again (can you forgive me?)
Can we start again?

31 December 2015

365 of 2015



Last day for 2015
First of all, sorry i still haven't yet complete the blog renovation. My schedule a bit pack compare with the usual.
Second, this song. I don't dedicate this song to anybody. Please don't misunderstand. I got this song from a novel I read at Wattpad and I love indian song, much.
Third, I'm getting nervous about dance performance for our company annual dinner in the end of Jan, but this is what i have choose. I wanna try this, want to have fun with dancing and out from my comfort zone.
Bukit tengkorak and Bohey Dulang as my new year starter tomorrow.

I'm very sorry to all people that i have hurt intended or unintended. Good luck in your own life, don't resent me.

I don't do love~anymore~

May 2016 bring us better in everything...

28 December 2015

BLOG UNDER MAJOR RENOVATION/CONSTRUCTION

27 December 2015

Do I/I Do

Damn..
I can't sleep again and i can't eat anything.. Not sure what did happen lately, but seems like i'm having insomnia or depression.. But why?

I'm not sure if u read this, but i'm closing my fb temporary, just i don't want u to think i chatting with other/s. Eventhough i love wondering at fb, scrolling and fooling around. But u getting curious with my activity at fb..

What next, i guess someone is not going to wait anymore.. right?? Haha

New year is next week.. countdown...

I'll change the background.. not in the mood to do the editing

I need to sleep or else tomorrow i'll ne having a very2 bad mood and mood swing.

Next... Erm... later

Night

4 December 2015

Hupdate

Fuhhh...

Nasyid punya pasal aku nangis dalam office...
Last few night my mum whatsapp tanya kenapa tak call... Haha..
Seperti yang dijangka, daddy yang angkat call dan memulakan mukadimah....
Di pendekkan cerita My daddy tanya pasal pegi check tiket untuk pegi KK, well tiket balik mmg da beli tapi tiket pergi belum lagi, so dengan lemah lembut Daddy cakap kalau boleh jangan la jalan dulu sebab banyak hal kecoh2 skrg..

Sedih~~~
Tapi kalau ayah yang kata, so memang terpaksa la cancel dan tiket tu burn la..... Waaaa..... Better dari buat ayah rasa susah hati dan risau kan. Sekarang marilah la kita buka Lazada dan shopping untuk merawat hati yang kecewa (Drama sangat~~~)

05.12.2015
Genap 2 tahun.... Al-Fatihah untuk arwah makcik,
Sejak dari arwah makcik pergi, aku belajar untk lebih menghargai orang tua aku,
banyak yang terjadi sejak aku grad dari study.. Seriously, parent tiada ganti..
Biar sakitkan hati sendiri dari sakitkan hati orang tua aku...
Ala.. rasa nak nangis pla,sentimental.... Tapi ada engineer so control la, cover macam biasa... haha...

Okay, cukup membebel... Let's move on... Lupakan semua... Allah tahu yang terbaik...
(^_^)V

3 December 2015

bh2



Let see if i still can use my Note to update my blog...
Gila la kalau kata aku x sakit hati klu break, tapi kadang2 rasa sakit hati dulu tu lebih dri rasa sakit hati skrg. I wanna take thing slow and i don't think u want this to be slow.. I don't know if i still can do this coz i know deep inside i'm fuck.. seriously,do u think i can easily get over this. Thinking what had happen between us.. Our memories together. Well, if u decide to move on and give up maybe that the best for u. Since my word had ni effect towards u.. i'm to lazy to describe my feeling towards u over and over again.. I don't want to expect more..  Just ask u to finish ur training but the opposite is what u do.. Instead of being my friend, u want more...damn, can't u understand this.. Simple, just finish ur training first and other will follow.. But u have made ur desicion.. So, up to u..

Aku tak mahu nanti di kata sengaja buat orang berharap.. Nope, semua orang pn selalu berharap, tu sebab aku serah pada Tuhan.. Jangan pusing2 dgn ayat aku lagi.

8 August 2015

Random

What i feel? What should i write? No idea~~~ I'm not good enough to describe my feeling.

~Live like minions. Laugh out loud all day without any reason and annoy all the mean people with your happines!~

I will love you, unconditionally
And there is no fear now
Let go and just be free
Cause I will love you
Unconditionally

And now I miss everything about you
I can't believe it, I still want you
After all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you

I have died every day
waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
No I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

Until tonight I only dreamed about you
I can't believe I ever breathed without you
Baby, you make me feel alive and brand new
Bring it one more time, one more time

9 June 2015

For This 7 Month, Remember This


"This is a modern fairy tale
No happy endings
No wind in our sails
But I can't imagine a life without
Breathless moments
Breaking me down down down"
~The Heart Wants What It Want~

Its killing me inside, i know the facts you will be gone for temporary but i still looking and searching for you. Still yearning for you. Demm, I miss u so much and I can do nothing without you. Feels like drowning in my own breath. I can't wake up, can do anything else except thinking bout you.
Please, keep me strong so we can go through this together. I know this is no easy way, but this is the price we need to pay for a better future. As much you want me to trust you and wait for you, i will do but i need you to do the same. I've told you bout my everything, show you my real self and my real life, no more secret to hide. You know me better than i know myself, you have  my weakness and you will be the one who can handle me better. Nothing we can do to change our past, people can keep talking bout that, judge us and give punishment. But we know better what we want, every people have their own dream and planning, just do our best so we won't regret anything.

I know the risk, but I take my chance
(^_^)

~Just because something isn't happening for you right now doesn't mean that it will never happen, wait for the right time and right place.... Also with the right person~
S.S.A

26 May 2015

" You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream"

*Cintailah Aku Sepenuh Hati

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

Kenapa kalau ada conflict mesti lelaki akan cakap perempuan adalah makhluk yang paling susah untuk di faham, dan perempuan akan kata lelaki adalah makhluk yang tidak pandai menghargai perempuan. Like seriously?? Biar betul tanggapan 2 spesis berbeza ni....

Lelaki ka? Perempuan ka? Sama2 juga ada akal fikiran, ada hati dan perasaan. Kadang2 emosi makhluk ni sama2 x tentu. Di ikut juga kehendak masing2 sampai lupa pasal orang lain, lupa kehendak diri sendiri dan orang lain yang perlu d penuhi.Demand tu perlu, tapi kena la pada tempatnya juga kn.

Change Topic..

After awhile, i start to lose myself. I don't even know what i want for myself, for my life and for others. 

Terlalu manjakan diri melayan kemalasan, mau kata kerja susah dan stress memang aku menipu la. Kerja sini memang sangat best sebab situasi dan orang2 sekeliling boleh tahan juga la, kemudahan dan gaji kira Alhamdulillah juga. Tapi apa yang aku masi cari sebenarnya? Cukup2 la enjoy tu, dari masa stdy degree lagi tak habis2 program enjoy dan bercuti. Sekarang check IC dan tengok umur sendiri, bukan muda sangat lagi pun (kira muda lagi la sebab umur 2X kn).. haha.. Kalau tgk kawan2 yang lain hampir semua suda settle down tu, tak kan la tiap2 kali ko kena buat muka comel tak bersalah bila anak2 kawan dtg salam ko masa hari raya sambil kawan ko tu kata " Nak, pegi salam aunty" dan dalam hati ko jawab "Erk!, title aunty suda rupanya aku".. Okay, ini serious ya, aku pernah kena.. T.T

Bila kau letak diri kau di tempat orang lain mungkin kau tak boleh rasa dan tau apa yang dia tengah fikir sekarang. Lain orang memang lain cara untuk handle masalah kn. Kau cuma mampu jadi pendengar bila dia luah masalah dia dan minta pendapat. Sakit nya tu di sini bilang Cita citata (*tiba2). Doakan mereka dan diri kita sendiri kuat untuk menghadapi dugaan dan masalah. (^_^)

Last.. Sakit hati adalah sejenis penyakit yang tiada ubat, siapa yang terkena sila cari cara untuk melegakan sakit hati tu sendiri. Kesian bila tgk orang sakit hati, tapi x tau macam mana mau bagi comfort and pujuk orang tu. Especially orang tu adalah besfriend sendiri, memang kesian la. Aku faham macam mana rasa nya sakit hati tu, sebab aku sendiri pernah rasa. Yang aku tahu cara paling berkesan aku pernah cuba adalah redha dan terima tu sebagai takdir diri sendiri. Kita merancang tapi tak semua yang kita mahu kita akan dapat, mungkin ada yang lebih baik. Redha dan tawakal.

Aku mungkin bukan yang terbaik, tapi berusaha untuk yang terbaik untuk elak menyesal kemudian hari. Untuk masa depan tiada siapa yang tahu, rancang dan atur la baik2 apa yang kamu mahu dan aku tetap akan cuba yang terbaik. Aku juga bukan manusia yang mudah percaya orang, tapi aku bagi peluang untuk percaya pada kita dan tunggu sampai masa yang di tetapkan datang.

" You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream"

"I Miss You Yesterday, I Miss You Today and I'll Miss You forever"

20 May 2015

In Sabah Language

*Just So You Know

Uina, kalau ku d rumah suda ni kali ku nangis guling2. Ndak suda ku tau mau rasa apa sekarang, campur2 suda ni sampai macam tiada suda yang aku boleh rasa. Mau pikir apa pun ndak juga suda ku tau. Kenapa juga ba ni orang2 semua bikin pening, bikin bingung. Pa juga diorang mau sebenarnya? Lain lagi yang terasa terus, macam mau ja ku delete tu wassap ama tu wechat. Betul2 serabut ni.. Ishk... Lain lagi yang 1 tu suka simpan rahsia, apa juga susah betul mau kasi tau mau pegi mna, ndak juga ku halang p mana kalau ko mau pegi ba. Kadang2 ku rasa ko ni kasi main perasaan orang ja. Aish.. membebel suda ku d sini.. betul2 la kan bikin stress, nasib teda juga keja ku skrg kalau ada konpom ndk siap la tu ni hari.